Category Archives: Negotiation

Seven Skills For Influencing Negotiations

Ask questions – of yourself too. Asking questions (that you really want to know the answer to) engages the neo-cortex in the brain, which keeps unhelpful emotions out and the thinking brain engaged. What’s the story behind the story?  Look for the underlying emotions – what is really being said. Or partner with someone who has this talent for empathy. How close are you? How close are your common interests? Focus on the commonalities, not the differences. Get creative with solutions (together) – If you brainstorm together, you not only build the capacity for some innovative ideas, but you build good will together. Focus on underlying needs – yours and theirs. Let go of entrenched positions. Clear out your unhelpful emotions – anger, worry, fear, etc. And name theirs (to yourself first, and if it’s helpful, address with them) Walk a mile in their shoes – what are their joys, highs and lows, pain points? Learn more: The Negotiation Quest - Get a mutual “yes” by sleuthing out both sides’ preferred approaches to negotiation. Explore universal needs that all negotiators have in common and find out how to address them.

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Quix Tip: What Flour Did You Bake With While Negotiating Today?

We negotiate all the time, all day long, (even with ourselves), often without realizing it. Think about the different small negotiations you had with your spouse, kids, co-worker or self today and yesterday. What was your style in these negotiations? There is a Danish folk saying that asserts, “You must bake with the flour you have.” In fact, you probably can’t bake at all with flour you don’t have. How effective were you with your “flour”? What parts of your style would you like to use more? What would you like to use less? How would you like to refine your particular technique? What’s your style when you’re under stress? When you’re relaxed? What small successes with your preferred style would you like to celebrate? Focusing on your preferred style in small negotiations helps you play to your strengths, play your game instead of someone else’s, and negotiate at your best. Learn more: The Negotiation Quest - Get a mutual “yes” by sleuthing out both sides’ preferred approaches to negotiation. Explore universal needs that all negotiators have in common and find out how to address them.

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