Selfish or selfless or self-filled?

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People who have a passion to help others are often known as selfless.

People who narcissistically focus on themselves are often known as selfish.

If you’re a selfless person, that help you automatically want to provide may leave you burned out and off-center. You give so much that there’s nothing left inside. The temptation is to go 100% in the opposite direction and say, “I’m just going to take care of me now. I deserve it.” It’s not going to work. It’s not going to help you and it’s not going to allow you to contribute the best of you.

In between good and bad, right and wrong, black and white, 100%/100% thinking there is a middle way.

Instead of selfish, instead of selfless, try self-filled. Fill yourself up with what you need to recharge well. That can be seen as selfish of course. But this time do it with the intent to fill yourself up so well that more naturally bubbles over the upper lip of the container. Fill yourself with the intent to help others with this goodness. Depletion is no longer a problem. “self-less” might mean: no sense of self, only of the other. Self-filled might mean: start with you and move out from there into the world, helping with your unique passion.

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