Seven Skills For Influencing Negotiations


  1. Ask questions – of yourself too. Asking questions (that you really want to know the answer to) engages the neo-cortex in the brain, which keeps unhelpful emotions out and the thinking brain engaged.
  2. What’s the story behind the story?  Look for the underlying emotions – what is really being said. Or partner with someone who has this talent for empathy.
  3. How close are you? How close are your common interests? Focus on the commonalities, not the differences.
  4. Get creative with solutions (together) – If you brainstorm together, you not only build the capacity for some innovative ideas, but you build good will together.
  5. Focus on underlying needs – yours and theirs. Let go of entrenched positions.
  6. Clear out your unhelpful emotions – anger, worry, fear, etc. And name theirs (to yourself first, and if it’s helpful, address with them)
  7. Walk a mile in their shoes – what are their joys, highs and lows, pain points?

Learn more:

The Negotiation Quest – Get a mutual “yes” by sleuthing out both sides’ preferred approaches to negotiation. Explore universal needs that all negotiators have in common and find out how to address them.

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